How many Valentines cards would Rocky Dennis get?

Valentines Day. Here again. (Me) Cue copious vomiting, (You) smugness emanating all over your face(book)

I think people can fall into two categories (and obvs sub-divisions of this). You either buy into the Valentines crap, or you don’t. You can opt out because you are ugly, smell of pissed on pasties and you know deep down no-one loves you and you probably don’t deserve to be loved.

Alternatively it’s because you realise that is a made up, Hallmark created load of bollocks. Maybe you know that you don’t need this day to validate the love you have for another, and that you can do that by actually showing someone you love them, through normal methods, like respect, thoughtfulness and consideration, every day of the year? Imagine that!

It’s possible that you think it’s the latter option that you don’t buy in, but it could be the former. I don’t really buy in, but that could also be because i’ve never really been showered with presents and cards on this day. I think I have had one or two cards in my whole 30 years. I am not sure I would feel any differently if I had been given red roses and fluffy teddies. Yes… maybe I am secretly bitter…! A few years ago, me and my boyfriend at the time agreed to stay in and have one of those M&S meals. I remember him calling me from town, telling me he was browsing for a present for me (how exciting I thought). I had been in town earlier purchasing the tasty food. He returned home from a late three course lunch with his friends, drunk, sans presents. I was mildly perturbed to say the least, and went out to get drunk with my friends, returning at an ungodly hour, to discover that all the food (bar the veg side dish and starters) and wine had been consumed, apparently not in malice. Yes, eaten, devoured! Apparently, he sat on his own getting drunk, listening to She’s The One, by the Beta Band over and over again. Getting drunk, and eating. I enjoyed the goats cheese tartlets the next day.

This year, my new boy is not with me. He is in the North of England, watching Kes probably. We have sent cards.

I do not feel the need to post pictures of my card on Facebook, to show everyone that I am a smug twat, prove that someone loves me. I don’t get it, why does everyone have to know how amazing your ‘boyf’ (and I note a lack of updates from the boyfs out there) is.. it’s sickening, and I am not sure anyone cares, apart from you, and your boyf when you feel you have something to prove to by publicly declaring to your abundance of virtual friends, your ‘love’.

My friend Myron wrote on FB today, which I like;

You don’t show love; you don’t get love. Just smile at someone you pass today, it will go far

Simple, but it made me smile. I have yet to smile at anyone yet though…

Show the ones you love that you love them every day. Love is more than a blowjob and a crappy card.

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About Maisie Snax
LOVES: Clouds, maize snacks, house music, taking things too far, cider in the sun, funk, Wes Anderson, cheese, listening to my ipod really loudly at all times, being lazy, being elevated, showing off, melodic hip-hop, monkeys, getting amongst it, pianos in house tracks, soul, Chanel pefume, Bret Easton-Ellis, my fringe, Buckfast, cashew nuts, long weekends away, spooning, stereo whoring, laughing, eggs, John Lee Hooker, BBC 6 Music and Spaced DOESN'T LOVE: Getting up early, liars, text speech including lol, Joop on men, beards, vegetables that disguise themselves as other vegetables (courgettes), diet coke, Lady GaGa, Radio 1, soaps, black pudding, Mondays, big dogs, toenails and cheap leggins.

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